Self care gets thrown around a lot. But what is self care even? And how often do we need it? Does it have to cost me more money and time? Let’s get into self care.
What is self care?
I googled a definition and all the definitions pretty much said some version of it is taking care of your mental and physical health. Some added on spiritual health also. But www.everydayhealth.com gave my favorite definition.
It said, “Self-care is taking steps to tend to your physical and emotional health needs to the best of your ability.” To the best of your ability is an important key to the definition of self care.
Non-judgmental Self Care
Self care isn’t self care if you are judging or berating yourself the whole time you are doing it or not doing it. The first step to self care is to have compassion for yourself where you are at. Have you let yourself get to burnout and that’s why you are looking for self care. That’s neither good or bad. It just is. Are you trying to avoid burnout with self care, also neither good nor bad.
Where you are is just where you are. You need to know where you are in order to get where you want to be. Think of it like Google Maps, Google can’t give you directions if it doesn’t know where to start from.
Dopamine and Self Care
The second you start to judge yourself for your self care practice, it doesn’t do you any good. Self care can give you healthy dopamine hits. Dopamine is the feel good chemical in your brain. Your brain seeks it many forms.
Have an addiction? Doing the thing you are addicted to gives you a dopamine hit. Eating sugar equals a dopamine hit. Along with any small action that you said you would do and followed through on. There are healthier ways to get dopamine hits. Self care is one of them.
Self Care Ideas
It can be anything big or small that helps improve your physical or mental health. One way to know what kinds of self care you might need is to ask yourself the question, “What do I need right now?” Once you answer that question then ask the question, “how might I give that to myself right now?”
For example, you may ask what you need right now, and the answer is a break from your children. How might you get a break from your children? Let’s brainstorm. Maybe you turn the tv on for awhile and hide in your room. Or you go to the bathroom and lock the door. Perhaps you call a babysitter and get out of the house? Can your husband watch the kids for awhile while you do something alone? Or maybe you step outside while they play inside. Maybe you can buy yourself 30 seconds or an entire weekend while the kids visit grandma without you.
The whole point is you do what you can do, when you can do it, as often as you need to. Maybe you can’t get a whole evening or weekend away. But maybe you can get one cartoon episode a day in. Schedule that time for you in.
Benefits of Self Care
You will find as you start to add small bursts of self care in regularly that you have more energy and joy in your life. Suddenly doing those dishes for the 45th time today leave you feeling downright angry. Instead it is just what you do.
Self care is best if used regularly and consistently in small doses. Don’t discount the value small bouts of self care can add to your life. Often you over estimate what a big session of self care will do for you and forget the value of small frequent doses of self care.
More Resources
Self care can feel impossible if you are not used to doing self care. You may have a hard time coming up with specific ways to achieve self care in your specific life. Need some outside help fitting self care into your life as a busy mom, book a free consult call. Together we can explore all the options for self care and how it might look in your life. Help give you that little extra help you need, to finally take care of yourself.
Until Next Time
-Keira
