What does it even mean to just be yourself? Most of us spend our time walking around pretending to be someone we are not. It’s human nature to want to fit in. So before you go judging yourself for complying to the social norm, thank your brain for trying to keep you alive. It just hasn’t evolved to know that you are aren’t going to die if every person doesn’t become allies.
So we try to get along with and fit in with most people that we meet. But what if instead you could just be you and find your true people. The ones who really like you for you. If everyone clicked with everyone they met, life would be pretty boring. We would all have to be vanilla ice cream. But what if we have some chocolate, buttered pecan, candied, or even sherbet and more. We don’t think the ice cream world has gone wrong because there is more than vanilla. Let’s look at all the people we meet and ourselves as different kinds of ice cream.
Different people love different flavors. All while different flavors can’t act like another flavor and still taste great. If you just be yourself, you will like yourself and life more and your friends will like you better too.
1. Get to know yourself
Do you find yourself not knowing who you are anymore? Is changing diapers and talking kids into doing what they need to be doing defining who you are these days? News Alert: that isn’t who YOU are. That is your role as a mom. Mom is a verb and not a noun.
Start to notice what things you like to do. What did you like to do before kids? If you could do anything without limitations like children or money, what would you do? Who were you before kids? What kind of mom are you? Just start asking these types of questions and learn as your brain starts to find the answers to them. You will be amazed at what you can learn about who you are.
2. Speak up for yourself
Do you give your opinion when asked for it? For example, do you say where or what you want for dinner when asked? Are you wjilling to tell your kids that you don’t want to play right now. Or let your husband or extended family know that event isn’t going to work for you?
You may be thinking but I don’t want to be rude or hard to get along with. Let me tell you about a person in my life who never cares what we do. This person is the hardest person to please. They don’t have an opinion when planning things out, but they are the first one to act totally bored. It’s so frustrating trying to guess what they want to do and then walking on egg shells while doing the activity. You really aren’t being kind to yourself or others when you don’t speak up for yourself.
So do the loving thing and speak up for yourself. You’ll be so grateful that you did.
3. Love Yourself
Did you know that everyone is worthy of love regardless of what they do in this world? Let’s think this thru. Imagine your newborn baby. Is he/she loveable? What do they “do” to be worthy of your love? They just exist and you love. Even when they cry and poop their pants.
So when do we stop deserving to be loved like a newborn? At what age do we have to start earning our love and worth as a human? I’m here to say never. We never have to earn or be worthy to deserve love and value. Everyone is valuable all the time. Yes even you!
So how does one treat someoe or something they love? Do they talk down to them? Do they throw that item on the floor and let them get kicked around? Not usually!
Treat yourself like you love yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your newborn baby. Appreciate all the things you do for yourself and others. Notice the good in you.
And when your having a hard time, ask with curious love what’s going on for you. Just like you might ask your best friend or child who’s having a bad day. You will find the more love you show yourself the more you accomplish anyways. But don’t love yourself so you can get more done. Just love you for being you.
4. Enjoy Being with Yourself
Are you like me, and try not to be alone with yourself. Like your thoughts are scary when you are alone with nothing to. As you get to know yourself, speak up for yourself, and love who you are, it gets easier to hang out with yourself.
Spend some time listening to your thoughts. Stop scrolling for 20 minutes and just be present with you. How does that feel? In the beginning of my journey, it felt crappy. My brain went to all the things that were wrong with me. Why didn’t anyone want to hang out with me. But over time, I’ve learned to love time with myself. In fact, I crave it when life gets chaotic and busy.
Find things you love to do and do them. Try driving home from school drop off without the radio or podcast playing. Let yourself just be bored while you wait at the doctor’s office. Find little ways to be with yourself. It’s amazing how cool you really are when you take the time to get to know yourself.
And once we get to know ourselves, then we can show up in the world just being ourselves. Watch out cause relationships will transform. The most important one being you with yourself.
If you are thinking this is all good and dandy, but I’ve tried this and it hasn’t worked. Then sign up for a free Mastering Motherhood Introductory Call. Where we can chat for 30 minutes and I can help you learn more about yourself.
Until Next Time
-Keira
