Do you find yourself blaming the situations or people in your life for how it is turning out. You may be doing it and not even realize it. What does it look like to hand over the control in your life?
How Do You Think About It?
How we think plays a huge part in who is in charge of our life. Does your mother-in-law criticize how you are raising her grandkids or keeping your house? Did you know that she doesn’t make you a bad mom? It all goes back to how you feel you are doing as a mom. She can have all the worst thoughts about how you parent and keep house, but if you don’t know about them it doesn’t affect you.
If it affected you when she thought it then you would immediately start feeling horrible the second she even thought the mean thing. But it doesn’t affect you until you have a thought about what she said. It’s what you make it mean that affects you. Her thoughts affect her and yours affect you.
The Choice is Yours
I’m not saying you don’t want to choose to feel hurt sometimes. That is total normal and appropriate at times. If she is controlling your life because you think you need to prove yourself to her, then maybe it’s time to rethink what you are thinking.
Let’s say your mother-in-law says, Sara is a good mom because she feeds her kids healthy.
You could think, “She thinks I’m a horrible mom for feeding my kids candy.” Or you could think, “Maybe, but maybe not.”
Let’s explore how those different thoughts could affect your life. If you think “I’m a horrible mom for feeding my kids candy,” you might spiral into self-pity. You might wallow on all the ways you are a bad mom, proving it to yourself. And while you are wallowing in self-pity, you may let your kids eat all the unhealthy snacks and binge watch tv instead of serving the apple like you normally would. Proving to yourself you are a “bad” mom.
Reclaim Your Life
But by changing your thought to “maybe, maybe not,” you allow yourself grace. She can assume what you feed your kids for a snack determines if you are a good parent or not, but you don’t have to agree with her. This gives you the space to decide for yourself if you are a good mom or not. Hence having the control in your own life.
Feeling like you don’t have control of your life, but not sure where to start? Schedule a free 30 minute discovery call with me. We will talk about how this is at work in your life and get you started on the path of reclaiming your life.
Until Next Time
-Keira
