Did you grow up always wanting to be a mom? And now that you are a mom you don’t like being a mom? Do you feel guilty for not liking your children all the time? Did you know that you aren’t broken or a horrible mom for not liking the job of mother all the time? It is also not a permanent thing to not like your children or mothering. You can be in control of that. Let me help you get started on that journey.
1. Look at the Resentments
Resentments are a secret equation that leads us to knowing what we want in life. Are you resentful that your husband gets to go to work everyday while you stay home? What is it about that that you wish you could have. For me, I was jealous that he was living his passion, while I sacrificed mine the “family.”
Or maybe you are resentful because you always have to get a babysitter to do anything. Maybe that symbolizes you missing freedom in life to do things you want to do. Sometimes its obvious what the thing is, and other times it takes non-judgmental pondering to see it.
But start by making a list of things you are resentful about and start looking for what it is you miss having in your life. There is no right or wrong answer. Don’t think its not possible and push it aside. Write down all of those desires. Right now how you will get those things isn’t your business. Just learn to allow those wants.
2. Find Value in Yourself
Do you pay money for your kids or husband to learn new skills? Maybe the kids play a sport or take music lessons? Does your husband continue to develop in his career? Why is it the rest of the family can further develop to be happy, but mom doesn’t need to?
Mom is just as valuable as the rest of the family. She also deserves to find happiness in doing things she enjoys. She enjoys her life more which spills over to her family life as well. But I also don’t believe mom should do things just because her kids will benefit from it. Mom deserves to be happy as well.
One way to think about it is this. Do you want your daughters to live their lives like you are right now? If not, why is it not ok for them to grow up like you? But totally ok for you to be miserable for the sake of your children?
Start looking for all the ways you are valuable and loveable just as you are. Start looking for reasons why you deserve to do things as well.
3. Rediscover Things that Make You Happy and Fulfilled
Third, lets make a list of all the things that make you happy. Take the things you discovered in list one, add more to it, and mix in your value. Now lets do those things that make you happy. Maybe its big like going back to work or school. Perhaps its small like stalking your favorite treat in the pantry to enjoy each night before bed. Or anywhere along the scale.
Maybe it scares you to do things for yourself. Start small with something simple like admitting what you want to eat for dinner. Be honest with yourself, hold yourself accountable, and start implementing those things back into your life that you enjoy.
Have no clue where to start, or feeling stuck along the journey? Work thru my free Self Discovery for Mamas Workbook (see above). And/or book a Complimentary Discovery Call where I can help you along your journey. Can’t wait to meet you. E-mail me with any questions.
Until Next Time
-Keira
