Sitting there wondering what is wrong with your parenting. Wondering why this stage doesn’t seem to go away. Noticing that your child seems harder than others their age.
Here are 7 things to consider if you wonder if your child might be autistic or ADHD.
1. You are the expert
They say it takes 10,000 hours in a subject to become an expert. Remeber when you take your child in for evaluations, that the medical staff hasn’t spent 10,000 hours with your child. But you have. That makes you the expert on your child not them. They may have knowledge on Autism or ADHD, but not on your child.
2. Trust Your Gut
Because you are the expert on your child, go with what your gut is telling you about your child. The simple fact that you are wondering in the first place is a sign all on its own. Don’t let others tell you that your child is just being a normal little boy or girl. If your gut is telling you they aren’t then listen to that intutition.
3. Do Your Own Research
Go into these meetings knowing what you are looking for. Know what the diagnostic criteria is and come with examples. If you are unsure a simple Google search for examples will help you out.
For example, one of the criteria for Autism is stimming. Well my son doesn’t rub his hands or fingers together or rock. He doesn’t do the quote unquote normal stims. But a simple Google search helped us to know that he is a verbal stimmer. He makes repeated sounds or repeats things others say as a form of stimming.
Look for the lesser known examples that your child may have. Some of these appointments for diaganosis can be expensive. Don’t go in relying on the doctor picking up on it in an hour appointment. Give them examples, both where they struggle at home and in other scenarios. Both areas are required for a diagnosis.
4. High Functioning is Harder to Diagnosis
For some children, it is very obvious that they have Autism or ADHD while others often get missed because they are higher functioning. This is where doing your homework ahead of time may help you out. Write down and take notes of the things you see and wonder about. Ask questions if you have them. Don’t be afraid to call back with more questions.
Remember Autism and ADHD are related to brain development. In some areas they will function like neurotypical kids and really struggle in other areas. Some of those struggles may become more obvious as your child gets older. As children get older more is expected of them and the gap between them and their neurotypical peers can be larger.
5. Don’t Be Afraid of a Diagnosis
Getting a diagnosis doesn’t make your child any different than they already are. Kids know they are different than their peers. You can’t keep that from them. Having a reason for that difference can be helpful for them to understand why that is.
Having a diagnosis also helps you get more resources. It helps you know what to research, what kind of professionals to seek help from, and can help get accomodations at school. Plus knowing that it isn’t your parenting, can bring you peace of mind as well.
6. Live the Experience You are Having
Whether you get a diagnosis or not, you will have lots of emotions about it all. If you recieve a diagnosis you might feel relief and/or experience grief. Grief that his/her life isn’t going to look like you pictured it. Grief that your life isn’t going to be what you pictured either.
If you don’t get a diagnosis you might feel disappointment, confusion, sadness, relief, etc. It’s okay to be frustrated that you still don’t have any answers or to feel like you were not listened to.
Regardless of your emotions, they are neither wrong or right. They may or may not match someone else’s emotions in the same in situation. And that’s okay. Just allow yourself to feel those emotions. You will eventually work thru them and move on to others. Eventually you will get to where you can pick how you want to feel about the situation, but in the beginning just feel your emotions. Don’t try to shove them aside.
7. Second Opinions are an Option
Remember that doctors and therapists work for you. If they aren’t going in a direction that you agree with you can fire them. If you don’t agree with a first opinion, don’t be afraid to get another opinion. Different doctors have different personalities and personal beliefs that affect how they work. Never feel guilty, going somewhere else for another opinion. Remember you are the expert on your child, they are not.
If you are still struggling with not knowing what to do next, schedule a free call with me. Together we can walk thru what you’re seeing and feeling and get you started with the next right step for you. Simply sign up for a time that works for you at this link.
