Is life as a stay at home mom a complete toss up when it comes to your schedule? You don’t know when the baby will nap or the kids will need dropped off this week. It all feels like a huge mess and you can’t find time for your own self care in the middle of it all.
Life for me was out of control. I didn’t schedule things for myself because I didn’t know what my kids where going to do. Can’t exercise because I don’t know when they are going to want to eat or snuggle. Wouldn’t make plans with friends because I didn’t know when they are going to nap or how they would behave. I just went with the flow of my kids and didn’t do anything for me.
After a couple years of this, I started resenting them. Hated that they needed my help. Grew to be a grumpy and angry mom all of the time and didn’t know why. Does this sound familiar to you? Well I got out of it and so can you.
1. Make a List
Start out by making a list on a piece of paper of all the things you need or want to do. Don’t be afraid to dream and/or include things you want not just your kids and husbands requests. Write it down even if you don’t think you can do it or it feels silly to want that. This is a judgement free zone. Nobody has to see your list. Just get it all out on paper.
2. Schedule It
On a paper planner with time slots, write down your self care first. Maybe you want to exercise, but you have littles at home that interupt you. You instead of writing down 30 minutes for that workout maybe you give yourself an hour to do that same 30 minute workout. See how we are scheduling in time for them to slow us down and interrupt us.
Second write down all your non-negotiable appointments. Things like doctor appointments or kids soccer practice. Be sure to include enough time to get the kids ready and out the door in that appointment time. Schedule time for them to not know where their shoes are and to buckle themselves.
Finally we add the rest in. Remember to build in time to be interrupted. Think about when they play alone the best or nap. Use those times for tasks that can’t be interrupted like calling on that bill.
When you schedule be realistic about what you can get done. Also create a mix of things you want to do and things that you feel like have to get done. Be kind to yourself, don’t schedule every single minute of your day. Leave blank space for doing what ever you feel like doing that day, resting, and catching up on things that didn’t get done.
3. Try Out Your Schedule
Now you simply do the things on your schedule. In the begining, there will be a learning curve. You will find out you didn’t really know how long that takes you. That’s ok! Learn from it and plan accordingly next time. The longer you do this the better you get at it. Kind of like making a budget for your money.
Just know that when it is time to do the thing on your calendar its a good chance you won’t want to do it. That’s ok. Just do it anyways.
One hack I use to get myself going is to set a timer for 10 minutes. I tell myself I only have to do it for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off I usually am going well and keep going. But I do honor my word to myself, if I don’t feel like doing it still I stop. Sometimes I drop the idea that it needs to be done. Other times I reward myself for that effort I put in and take a break for a set amount of time. After that set amount of time has gone by then I put on another 10 minute timer to work some more. It’s amazing what we can get done in 10 minute increments.
4. Stopping the Worry
When your brain starts worrying about all the things that need done, you simply remind yourself that is scheduled on the calendar. It will get done a x time on y day. This will help calm down the overwhelm from the to do list.
Try this out for a week and then let me know how it goes for you. I’d love to get a DM or email from you letting me know. Was it a success or are you still struggling? I want to hear your story no matter where it falls on the spectrum. Let me celebrate with you!
Until Next Time
-Keira
