I used to be that mom who would push thru until I couldn’t push thru anymore. I’d keep giving of myself even though I was tired and over stimulated. In a moment that I’m not proud of I got to my breaking point. I needed to get away from the house and kids. I took the kids angrily to my husband at work and told them they were his kids for the rest of the day. Then I drove the 60 miles into town. It took me the whole drive to calm down. This is how I used to gauge when a break was needed.
Do you fall into this same trap? One day it just dawned on me that I don’t have to get frustrated before taking a break. This realization has been a life changer at my house. I don’t get mad as often. Caring for myself has become just as important as taking care of everyone else. We have a more peaceful home.
You are worthy of time off.
The first mindset shift that has to happen is you have to believe that you are just as important as everyone else in your family. As a society we tend to praise the moms that are martyrs. They forget themselves to care for their families. Is that the truth though? How might you take care of yourself and your other family members?
We are willing to send our kids to classes or sports that we pay for without hesitation for their benefit. Our husbands often get to do continuing education thru work or have hobbies outside of work. But you as a mom hesitate to spend money on yourself, take time off from momming, or do things just because you like doing them. Why is that? Who got to decide we weren’t as valuable as the mom?
Did you know that you can just decide you are just as worthy and valuable as every other member in your family. Because you already are. So what’s the harm in believing it? You deserve to be taken care of just like everyone else in your family.
You Don’t Have to Be Frustrated
Frustration and anger are secondary emotions. This means that they come after we ignore other emotions. They are a cover up of underlying emotions. What emotions are you covering up with your anger or frustration?
For me it was over stimulation, exhaustion, and boredom. I was tired of doing all the same things day in and day out. Dishes, laundry, cook, pick up toys or help kids pick up toys. I had very little adult interactions.
So instead of waiting for frustration to arise, start paying attention to the other emotions in your life. I now know when I am getting over stimulated. I can feel it in my body. I start to tense up and it’s harder to have patience. When this starts is when I find a way to get a break from my kids. Maybe I go mow my lawn with ear buds in or make arrangements for a baby sitter and get out of the house.
But the important part is that you don’t have to reach frustration before you deserve a break. You can have a break simply because you want one. No justification is needed.
Sometimes you might need help learning that you are valuable and loveable. That you deserve things like everyone else in the world. If you are having a hard time believing this and acting on it, then schedule a free call with me. Let’s get you started on the road of believing in yourself again. Simply click this link to schedule a time that works best for you.
Until Next Time
-Keira
