Mom needs a break too! But are you feeling mom guilt for needing that break?
For me, it would look like me not taking breaks. My husband didn’t have time to take off work to watch the kids, so I could go shopping or get my nails done. So instead I would just keep pushing thru the exhaustion and over stimulation. Until I couldn’t will power my way thru any more. I would load the kids up in the car. Then I would angrily drop them off to him at work and say I was headed to town.
I’d spend my 60 mile drive to town feeling guilty for blowing up, being angry that I had to blow up to get a break, and not enjoying my quiet time. More times then not I would spend more money than we had to spend. And then I would slink back home feeling guilty for taking a break and wasting our money.
Does this sound familar to you? Well I learned how to drop the mom guilt for needing a break. Now I just take breaks regularly without the guilt. And I haven’t gotten to the blow up stage since then. You can too.
Step 1: Realize You are Worth a Break
The first step is to learn that you are allowed breaks too. Often we allow our husbands and kids to come home and chill for a bit after work/school. But for some reason you don’t believe you are deserving of a break. Or that there isn’t time for you to take a break.
Well breaks don’t have to mean that you take an entire day without kids or responsibilities. Breaks can be 5-10 minutes here and there. It might mean that you turn on cartoons and go do something alone for a minute. Or it might be getting someone else to watch the kiddos, while you get out for a longer chunk of time.
Either way, you are a worthy, loveable person. You don’t have to earn your love by getting all the things done and not needing breaks.
In fact, you are often a better mom and wife after you have had a break. You aren’t on the verge of a total meltdown trying to keep up with all the things. Instead you take a breather, and come back with more patience and concern.
Step 2: Redine What a Break Looks Like
Often we think of a break as having a bubble bath, going out with friends, or getting our hair and nails done. But how can you redefine what a break looks like for you? Think outside of the box. What is it that you need?
Here is a list of 11 of my favorite ideas. Copy mine and create some more of your own. What can you come up with. I’d love for you to share them with me!
- Watch a TV show in my room
- Read for a few minutes
- Put in my headphones and listen to an audio book or podcast
- Dance to my favorite song
- Go for a 10 minute walk
- Sit outside in the sunshine for 10 minutes
- Have a favorite drink or treat without sharing it
- Sit in my car for 10 minutes after everyone else gets out
- Eat alone in my room while the family eats in the dining room
- Paint my nails after the kids are in bed
- Marco Polo a friend
Step 3: Take the Break
Now you just need to take the actual break. You can accomplish this several ways until you build up your break taking muscles.
Idea 1: Pre-plan each night what you want to do the next day and write it down. Then the next day you work it into your day.
Idea 2: Set a timer to go off 1-3 times a day. When it goes off ask yourself what you need in that moment. Then do that thing. Maybe you need a few deep breaths or an entire tv show in your room alone. Don’t judge it. Just do it and then see how you feel afterwards.
Idea 3: Pick one activity that you enjoy and work it into everyday some how. For example, I know that dancing to an upbeat song makes me happy. So I might pick that activity. Maybe I dance in the bathroom while I get ready or in the kitchen while I do the dishes. Or perhaps when the kids go down for a nap, I set a 10 minute timer and dance it out. But you get to pick your activity and try out different times of the day.
I’d love to hear what you do in your guilt free breaks. Simply send me an email or DM me on Instagram. I can’t wait to learn from you.
Until Next Time
-Keira
