Be Your Own Best Friend
What does a best friend do? I know for me, my expectations of a best friend is there for me no matter what I’m going thru. She loves me regardless of how bad I messed up. She supports me in everything, but she is also honest with me. I go to her for advice, to celebrate with, and to cry to. She understands me for me. Is that how you show up for yourself? Because we all can be our own best friend. Then if we have another best friend that’s a bonus!
3 Ways to Start Being Your Own Best Friend
1. Talk to Yourself Like You Talk to Others
I don’t know about you, but my internal dialogue isn’t how I talk to my friends. I would never tell my friends that their best in the moment isn’t good enough. That they need to get their life together. Or that they are fat and ugly. I wouldn’t tell them they are a horrible mom for being exhausted and wanting a break.
No I would love and support them. What can I do to support you in your goals? How can I help you have a break, so you can rest? That sounds super frustrating, what’s going on for you? How can I help? You look GREAT today mama! You are doing your best in the situation, keep up the good work. I love your eyes, they sparkle with joy when you laugh!
So start paying attention to what you tell yourself. A lot of it is unconscious. When we start to pay attention, and choose to tell our brains, “No, we don’t talk like that.” It’s easier to be our own best friend. It’s easier to open up to ourselves and understand ourselves.
2. Get Your Own Back
Do you support yourself in your decisions? Are you confident in what you do? If not, I want you to start. Don’t let others make you second guess yourself.
For example, lets say you decide to order pizza in for a big celebration. You know your life is busy, and taking the time to cook a meal isn’t realistic for you right now. Don’t let that comment from your mother-in-law put you into a space of feeling bad for not doing it right. Remind yourself, that you like your reasons for doing what you did. You wanted to be present and enjoy the celebration, not be overtired, grumpy, and wishing it was just over with already.
It doesn’t mean that you have to make a comment back to your mother-in-law defending yourself. You can if that feels like the person you want to be. But it can also just look like thinking, “I see your point mother-in-law, but I like my reasons for doing what I did. And that’s ok.”
3. Check-in with Yourself Regularly
How often should a friend check-in on you? Do you check-in with yourself regularly to see how you are doing? Pick a time each day to check in with yourself? Maybe its each day as you do the dishes, or brush your teeth, or right after the kids are in bed. Then ask yourself how you are doing.
Some days you might be rocking it. Celebrate those days!
Other days may be blah. Ask yourself why? And don’t judge your answer. Just be open to hearing it.
Other days you may not be proud of yourself. Maybe you snapped at your kids a lot, or argued over silly stuff with your husband, or what ever else may have gone differently. Kindly ask your self what is going on? Remind yourself that you love yourself and we can have a better day. What is it that I need right now? Maybe I am exhausted cause everyone is sick and clingy. Or perhaps you are feeling lonely and need to make a phone call just to chat. You will know what you need if you don’t judge yourself at your check-in.
Life is Better When You are Your Own Best Friend
I love doing things with my best friend, even the mundane things. So imagine how your life will be better if you become your own best friend. You wont be bullying yourself in your own head all day. You will have your own back. And you will always have someone that cares about how you are doing there.
It’s amazing the energy I save when I am actively being my own best friend. Instead of spending all that energy in my head trying to over come this mean girl talking to me, I can use that energy to actually do the things I want to be doing.
I’m also not afraid or nervous to hang out with me. I don’t need a break from myself. It’s something I highly recommend to everyone! If this seems impossible for you to do, book an FREE Explore Coaching Call with me. I would love to help you learn to be your own best friend!
